I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
