Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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