I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
