you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
