I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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