I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
