so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
