well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The power of my boobs compel you
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
