you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
