Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dicks are not precious.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
