I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
