now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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