I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just high enough for therapy.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
