you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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