dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We just shotgunned beers for America
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
