I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize