I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
