no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
