More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize