What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Damn victory sex feels great
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
