Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
