i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
