I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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