and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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