Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You are the jesus of drinking
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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