I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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