He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
