Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
