Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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