You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
