i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't turn off my feet"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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