so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
