ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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