Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
