New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
