clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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