we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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