took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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