I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I looked at my own cervix.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
ok first of all what the fuck
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize