Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
