One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
