Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
