WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize