If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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