If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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