I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
