WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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