i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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