you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
