Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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