and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
