It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I want a musical about memes.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
