when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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