well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
