Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize