fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
