no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
