addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the day after is always just damage control
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
