Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
