my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
